The problems with Australia

Don't get me wrong: I love the place. There is just one thing I would change immediately. That spot on my face is not the first stage of skin cancer. It is a fly. You have millions of them here and they are like flying pitbulls. They go for the eyes and the nose. Any ideas how to eliminate them?



The other problem is that all real men seem to live here. Every man is athletic and is doing some kind of dangerous extreme sport. How can I compete?



The last problem I solved. Due to the vastness of the country it is hard to get a good radio station when driving. That is why I bought a device that turns your iPod into a personal transmitter. If you pull up next to a black Holden Commodore, tune to 88,1 Mhz!